Exactly 365 days ago I handed over my baby Carter to the nurse. It was around 9 am that my 6 hours of holding him before the autopsy were over. At that moment of devastation I honestly did not think that I would be alive 1 year later. Yet somehow I am here. Thank you to the few friends that stuck around and supported us in every way that they could. Thank you to the family that never stopped checking in and making sure that we were still going.We would not have made it without you. Carter, I would give anything, do anything, be anything to have you here with me for just a minute alive. Instead I try to be the best person I can be so that you can be proud of who your momma has become. I love you carter always and forever.. Happy first birthday.